i was reading in Matthew chapter 14 this morning about Peter's venture out of the boat to join Christ on the water. Peter. You know, the one called the "Rock." The one who would lead the church. The one who doubted and began to sink. That one! I am afraid to step out of the boat. I'm afraid I will sink. I'm afraid I will fail. I'm afraid I won't live up to other's standards. I'm afraid to give up control and walk/live explicitly in faith. What is holding me back? FEAR!!!!!
My heart understands to "not be afraid" and "do not fear." Why can't my head catch up and grasp onto that also? It is in those thoughts that I become my harshest critic and beat myself up for not having faith. There is comfort, though, in knowing that even the great Peter had his moments of fear and doubt, but stepped out of the boat anyway. I need to take the first step.
Here I go......
3 comments:
If you want accountability, you need to tell us HOW you're intending to step out of the boat, no?
This reminds me of one of my favorite songs: Casting Crowns, Voice of Truth. I'm sure you've heard it a billion times too! Just remember: God is Good!
@ Jenni, Each day brings new ways for me too step out of the boat. The fear I have of failure, disappointment, rejection and the unknown, holds me back from so many things. I hear the whisper of the enemy telling me "You can't," or the internal tapes of voices past telling me that "no matter what I do it's not good enough." Quite frankly, I don't know where to start, other than to have faith in the promises of God. Even that scares me. Then I have no control, real or imagined. What I want is for my circle to hold me accountable by asking WHAT I'm doing to step out of the boat, since it may look totally different from day to day.
@ Andi, As soon as I wrote this, that song came on my playlist...coincidence? Nope! One of my favorite movies is "Facing the Giants." Not because of my love of football, or lack thereof, but because of the parallel to each person's life. God is rooting for me, telling me I'm doing a good job, even when I can't see the finish line. He knows I can do, He just wants me to trust Him and His plan. I just have to not be afraid to try. :)
Post a Comment