Praise you in this storm

This is so hard to do. But, It is my goal! :)

Stepping out of the boat.

i was reading in Matthew chapter 14 this morning about Peter's venture out of the boat to join Christ on the water. Peter. You know, the one called the "Rock." The one who would lead the church. The one who doubted and began to sink. That one! I am afraid to step out of the boat. I'm afraid I will sink. I'm afraid I will fail. I'm afraid I won't live up to other's standards. I'm afraid to give up control and walk/live explicitly in faith. What is holding me back? FEAR!!!!!
My heart understands to "not be afraid" and "do not fear." Why can't my head catch up and grasp onto that also? It is in those thoughts that I become my harshest critic and beat myself up for not having faith. There is comfort, though, in knowing that even the great Peter had his moments of fear and doubt, but stepped out of the boat anyway. I need to take the first step.

Here I go......

Changes

As my life and circumstances have changed me, I felt it was time to make some changes to my blog. With each year, new challenges and struggles have molded me and strengthened me. As I come into this new me, I don't always enjoy the means by which I am transformed, but I am grateful for the out come. I am not who I was last year. I am not who I was five, ten or twenty years ago. I am better! I am more confident in my faith, in myself and in my place in this world.

It is not easy letting go of my "old" self, and it's a constant struggle. I need to break my habits and modes of operation. I don't want to be stuck, I want to be free. I don't want people to say "that's typical Allison," I want people to say "Wow! She is so different, and I can't wait to know more."

None of these changes are of my own doing. I give God all the glory and praise! Without Him, I would remain the sad and lonely sinner without any hope.

Time Flies

Goodness, gracious! I cannot believe that it's been almost a year since my last post! I suppose when you have many things to be concerned with and to occupy your thoughts, a blog is near the bottom of the priority list.
This last year has been wrought with frustration, fear, sadness, fear, lack of faith, admission of said lack of faith, blessing, fear and more blessings. I enter this new year, on the blog, with a new outlook, a new home, and a newly refreshed faith! As I look back on the last year or two, I can see God's fingerprints all over our lives and circumstances, but I didn't see most of them then. This really has been a faith walk for me, and i have struggled. Boy, have I struggled. I am leaving those behind and pressing onward. My last few posts had it right on... and only now can I fully appreciate what I thought I knew then. Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow! :)

Spent Blooms

As I was picking off the spent blooms from my flowers, I thought about how it represents God's work in me. In order to continue to get more beautiful blooms, the old dead ones need to be removed. When God picks the old blooms off, it might be a little painful, but, in its place a new beautiful bloom comes. Hmm. Never though my petunias would teach me such a profound lesson.

Here I Am

This is me. Just as I am, flaws and all. I am ready to just be me. No pretenses, masks or cover-ups. God has created me in His image, how can that be wrong? This is my struggle: to trust God explicitly, to accept the things I don't understand and move freely in the life He has given me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made!

I am afraid to let go.... control is not my friend... this is what I must keep reminding myself of.

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