Here I Am

This is me. Just as I am, flaws and all. I am ready to just be me. No pretenses, masks or cover-ups. God has created me in His image, how can that be wrong? This is my struggle: to trust God explicitly, to accept the things I don't understand and move freely in the life He has given me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made!

I am afraid to let go.... control is not my friend... this is what I must keep reminding myself of.

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

What makes you smile?

What makes you smile? Here are some things that make me smile:
*A baby smile
*A dog with its head hanging out a moving car
*My girls getting along
*A beautiful sunset
*A campfire
*Thinking about my friends
*Knowing I'm saved
*My hubby playing with our kids
*A kiss from my daughter
*My daughter bringing me coffee in bed
*Smelling roses
*Thinking about my Grandma and how much I loved spening time with her
*Hearing babies giggle
The list could go on and on....I have a lot to smile about. I have to keep that it mind when things aren't looking so great. Hmmm, mental note!

Letting Go

Why is it so hard to let go? When something is clearly unhealthy, what holds me back? Is it that there has been so much invested (time, love and emotions) and I hold out hope that it can be fixed instead of letting go? I don't want to be held back and down. I want to move forward. I want to heal and not be afraid. I want to trust that the Lord is having me let go for a good reason. I need to let go. I need to trust. Help me let go, Father! I give this to Him...

Feelings of Accomplishment

I feel invigorated! I feel inspired! I feel....sore! I just won, 5-3, Baseball on the Wii tonight! This is my big accomplishment of the day. What will I do now? Put some Sombra (like ben-gay, but better..) on my arm and go to bed. Maybe when I win the World Series I'll go to Disneyland. Maybe Mickey could rub my arm? I'm still going to bed, regardless!

Its OK!

Yes, it is "OK" to be in transition. This is what I am learning. I have to leave the past behind in order to move forward, or transition, to the next phase of my life. Transition hurts though. Seasons change and when they do, things happen. I feel like I am in the season of "fall" with the changes that are going on in my life. Things are being left behind, falling to the wayside and blowing away. Its "OK!" There is a season for everything under heaven, and somehow, I am changing seasons. This is a good thing, I think. As I transition from a young adult into a mature one, ha ha, things that held so much meaning to me aren't nearly as important. My focus and my energy are narrowing in on what priorities really should be. My God, my husband and my family. Everything, and everyone, else comes after that. I am accomplishing something that maybe no one here on earth will see or appreciate, but my Father in heaven sure does. I want to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" Its "OK!"

Life is like laundry....

Yes, you read that correctly. Tonight my brilliant thoughts surround the task of doing laundry. Many times I have referred to our struggles as "being in the fire" or "being broken." Tonight, its "being a piece of laundry." Think about it:

You've been worn out, you're dirty, you need cleansing. You get put in a confined spot, rather uncomfortably, being pushed and shoved in. Then, you get flooded with water, feeling like you are struggling to get a breath. And its soapy water at that! The tumbling and turning and churning begin. You get pretty beat up, you are at the mercy of the "washer" and then the world seems to spin, faster and faster, out of your control. Before you know it, it stops. The door is opened, you are lifted up and shook out. You are gently placed on a line, in the breeze, to catch your breath and feel the glorious warmth of the Son. You are clean, ready to be used again. But when you are worn again, the process will begin all over again.

Oh how I long to be on the line, in the breeze and feeling the glorious warmth of the sun on my face!


Note: The dryer analogy just wouldn't have worked!